"Should God place you on his anvil, be thankful. It means he thinks you’re still worth reshaping."

I cried so much in public today. Not wanting any attention, I always tried to cover it with a yawn or sneeze. This song perfectly explains my situation right now. Stained Glass Masquerade by Casting Crowns. I received Max Lucado's newsletter today. God has the perfect timing. I read the whole passage, and the last line, the line in red up there, hit me hard and right into my heart. I don't know how and what anymore. I feel like a robot sometimes.



Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the heart again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay
-"Stained Glass Masquerade - Casting Crowns"

EVERY line hits me hard. Real hard.

I am so hooked up with Colbie Caillat's album.
with a different craving of her songs every week.

I am tired. I do not want to start school anytime soon. I feel like a complete noob in IT man. I do not like the school. It's not anywhere near cool at all. Guess I will just have to get used to it.

"jsyk, you are a wanker!"


did e'er such love and sorrow meet;

I give my all to You
Send me and I will go for You
To the ends of the earth
I'll follow after You
I want the world to know
Your Love endures forever

Tell me and I'll obey
This is far greater the sacrifice
Trusting you and not myself
Will always lead to blessing
Lord have your way in me
Not my will, Yours be done

Here I stand within Your Presence
Longing for Your touch
A thousand days cannot compare
To one day in Your courts
Hold me now and never let me go
My Jesus, my Precious Saviour
I'm forever Yours

I will worship You forever
I will worship You
"I'm forever Yours - planetshakers"

This is my cry.