I don't want to lose You. But I think I have already did. I was on the verge on giving this up, cause it was just too much to take. Too much failures, too much disappointments I've made, too much promises I've broken, way too much time wasted.

What have I become? That I can't even regconised the girl right in front of her reflection. I am lost, far away, gone. When you asked whether do I still miss you, I know I do, but I can't put myself to say that I do.

I am completely broken. I can't see the future, the continual of this road. But God, His timing has never failed. He reminded me of the parable of the prodigal son once again.

"Jesus told about a teenager who decided that life at the farm was too slow for his tastes. So with pockets full of inheritance money, he set out to find the big time. What he found instead were hangovers, fair-weather friends, and long unemployment lines. When he had had just about as much of the pig’s life as he could take, he swallowed his pride, dug his hands deep into his empty pockets, and began the long walk home; all the while rehearsing a speech that he planned to give to his father.

He never used it. Just when he got to the top of the hill, his father, who’d been waiting at the gate, saw him. The boy’s words of apology were quickly muffled by the father’s words of forgiveness. And the boy’s weary body fell into his father’s opened arms."


Maybe, this is how it is. I burn out, I am drained, and this is when I know, I am broken, and I have to come back to this point, to completely lean upon Him.

And what they may lack in perfection, God makes up for in love.

"Now I will sing your praises and I will sing forevermore"

I can hardly feel what I am feeling. I don't know whether I am too upset or just fine with it. And this is when I need comfort food. I am DYING for it. But I know, this is my sacrifice of praise. The "world" might think it's a silly thing to do, but I know, my reward is definitely more than this. I am already feeling it, the breakthrough I have been longing for for 3years. God I say, I have faith, I believe I am stronger than this, to overcome this.

Even as I am typing all these, I can't seem control my emotions. I just feel like weeping. But I know it's not due to my failure, it's cause of the breakthrough I just have. Which is greater than all these.

I won't give up on this passion. There is always a second chance. And I have great friends around to always cheer and push me forward. Thanks guys. I really appreciate you guys. love.
And G, you are always there for me. Thanks love. I am so glad to have you around. Ha. I really wont know what to do without you with me. Always my bff, although I dont like the word bff too. HA!



how majestic is Your love in my life;

I find myself coming back to you

crying out with all my heart

Cause I realised my deepest desire,

has always been you

Yet I was lost again, again

I wandered away

Mentally left the group

Yet you have never failed me

Fulfiling every promise you've made

for every that I've broken

I've come to this place again

Why, why has your grace always been overflowing

How can your love be so unfailing

Making me feel so unworthy of every drip

For you have been the one I always fail

And why am I so drawn to your presence

So addicted to that feeling

Maybe "should" is a better word

What differnce do I make from the rest

I come and repent and go once again

Then I was reminded, by one of Max Lucado's Newsletter "Anvil Time". I found the answer. "Should God place you on his anvil, be thankful. It means he thinks you’re still worth reshaping." Yet I find it an irony, but I know it's true.

Cause I was willing, willing to come back no matter how many times I fail, how many times I've stumbled. I am open to be shaped, but the unwillingness to step out and change, is the reason why I stay where I am after such a long time.

The question I ask myself, WHEN? When can I STEP OUT and reach out to my destiny. It's not exactly a question, more of a self-confrontation.

He spoke in the service once again.

"You know what it takes, you know what it takes"

thats all He said. Not all. But, all that hits my heart.

In You.. I find my peace
In You.. I bend my knees

You are Lord of Heaven You shall
Reign in all the earth
I humbly bow before Your majesty
Now I will sing Your praises and I will
Sing forevermore
I’m captivated by Your love in me

-"Captivated" True Worshippers

Now, just some photos. =)

MY PROJECT GROUP (SML)

SWITCHFOOT <3

SUPAFLY OUTING!!

IMPRESSIONS NIGHT =)

okay later. love.

Yesterday, when I woke up in the morning. As I was bathing to prepare for school, God placed this line of lyrics in my heart.

"And nobody else can take your place in my heart"

But I didn't know what song it was, I just kept on repeating that line again and again, kept on trying to figure out which song it's from. I went to school, with this burden in my heart. Dying to know the rest of the song. Till I went to check on guitar4christ.com. Finally knowing the whole song, even as I started to hum the song in my heart, I could just sense the presence of God, and everything became clear. He knows my deepest desire, but I can never put it into action. This is where He comes in. =)


So poly life has just begin for me. A new school, new friends, new environment, new lifestyle. I am really thankful for every single one that has been placed in my life. We have fun, we learn, and we care for one another. I LOVE YOU IT0802 & SML! But I have to admit, I did pick up some bad habits again, like... vulgarities and lateness? HA! I really want to quit all these. Lateness is.. URGH. I have to. And vulgarities. A BIG NO NO. I mean like "freaking" , "shit", "shoots", "damn", all these are fine with me. But now the F-word. Hmph. It's freaking me out. So... I have to have a tenacious spirit to overcome this. I CAN DO IT!

There are like tons of revision for me to do, and project is like EATING UP MY LIFE! Sigh. I need good time management. Oh not forgetting more sleep and sports. I am trying to persuade my dad to get me a new pair of skates, cause now.... the skates with ball-bearing 9 is out in Singapore! HEH.



What does she do
When love is untraceable
Fake friendships are forged
And just when she thought,
things couldn't get any worse...

he attacked.
Reminding her that,
she just doesn't belong.
And maybe, just maybe,
she should just, simply,
fade away.

Then... He showed up.
Carrying her, step by step,
through and out of this dark valley.
Cause He knows, this is where,
and how she grows.
And, this is just the beignning of her story.