Sunshine Heartbeat

I'll be okay
You'll find your love today
Searching everywhere
A Lots of sunshine waiting for you
Don't be afraid
You'll find your love one day
Tell me that you'll do your best for me
I'm believing in your faith

I can see a burning flame
It is your future waiting for you
Hold my hands and give me your word
Believe in what you do
And you will be okay

Confused

Being in a state of joy and confusion, is making my mind go crazy. I have no idea. My heart is heavy. Was I just overwhelmed? Was I just too excited? Or am I just in love? I don't know. If I am not, why am I so happy about it. I am literally smiling out from my heart the whole entire day. My heart was pounding so much, I was left breathless, my stomach turned upside down, I was feeling so hot and red. My heart don't seem to have a direction. I am waiting for an answer. Not a word is spoken. Don't leave me hanging like that... I didn't expect myself to fall for it. But love is blind like everyone says. Is it true?

God show me your ways please. I don't wish to do things that doesn't please you. I will regret. Is this a right choice? Does it matter? Will it pull me down instead? Tell me. I want to go according to your plans only.

Had to make muffins today. My coursework B practical is so freaking screwed. Last minute got to change the proportion. Was so busy, but yet, my mind just can't seem to concentrate. It was dirfting "somewhere". HAHAHA. AHHHHHH... the thought of it is making my smile so much again. Plus when I told Gloria, she was laughing like mad woman. Stupid girl. Making me feel like an idiot. Everyone seems to be asking me whether I am okay or not. As I will just smiling like a retard. Chia pei was sitting beside me for Geo. today, andthe moment she saw me smiling again, she laughed, and blame me for distracting her. haha. Then we talk about her sister, her crashes and stuff. My dearest home-mate, tell me to laugh my way home. That seriously make me laugh like mad. It was really a great day today. Maria told me her 'secret'. haha. She is one cute girl. For my girlfriend Gloria Chew, she seriously seriously amused me! Seriously! Didn't expect her to be so brave. Sometimes I really admire people like her. Dare to love. Dare to take the first step. Don't just sit there and wait for things to happen. I love you my girl. haha. Continue to love that way. And STOP PLAYING GUESSING GAME WITH ME PLEASE! haha. Fly my kite today. Make me cannot go buy my mango jacket. haha. anyway... I still love you. GIRLFRIENDS FOREVER. haha. High school musical too. haha. It rocks.

Love Quote
Love is blind, I totally agree.
With no doubt.
Love makes a girl go wild.
Showing the joy from all her heart.

What if you had tried your best not to look back, and had already moved on. It already comes to a point where you had leave the darkness and enter into the light. When all the love you received makes you think that you are more than just friends, more like a soulmate?

And what happens when someone just came and dig out all your past and starts talking to you about it. When you have already leave the past behind. Then, your soulmate starts to drift away. When reality just comes crashing all upon you?

Through all this, God has spoke to me through songs and friends, that :

"His love is made perfect for me,
His strength had come to replace.
The things in life,
might be mostly dark,
but His grace is sufficient.
All to do is lean upon Him.
Give trust."

Yours truly,
Swee min Raine

He is the One

Thank you _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ,

Although you didn't help me directly, but every single time I visit your blog. I always have a revelation from there that really make a great impact in me. I had really been feeling down and troubled this past few weeks. I had totally no idea how to get out of it. I am really thankful to God for sending a friend like you, to come and help.

God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me

He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a wayHe will make a way
By a roadway in the wilderness
He'll lead me
Rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His Word will still remain
He will do something new today

With love and strength
For each new day
He will make a way
He will make a way

- Don Moen, God will make a way

Although I know it will never be easy and smooth. I am willing to go on and grab the apples that is at the top. I won't pick the ones at the bottom. For it's worth it for just that few more steps more. As the apples up there are much more delicious. I know I will come to a point where I will wonder where is God when I am in the valley of death. But now, I know for sure, He is just right beside me, protecting me from every evil, pushing me to move on, getting me back on my feets and continue the walk with me. Making every single thing possible. He is closer than my very breathe. He is in ME. There no need to look around. He works in ways I cannot see. His thoughts are higher than mine. His ways are higher than mine. He will not put me in a situation where I can't cope with. God, I will get through this. I will find the right exit out. To the next breakthrough. Although I know it's going to be tough and tiring, but I am willing to complete this walk with You. Never will I give up again. I won't want to backslide. Cause I have You. I am in need of You. Only You. All I am is Yours.

Just a thought

Chocolate browines and a stalk of sunflower. A bouquet of tulips or hot-pink roses. A hand-made puzzle. Hand-made birthday cake. A hundred big candles saying 'Happy Birthday' poked into the sand of a beach. Standing in the middle of a circle of fire-crackers. Brought to the beach and someone playing guitar and singing a song to you. A candy or chocolate just to encourage. A sweet note.

To me, all those things above, are gift or things that might be impossible to get in my life. Haha. I know all these sounded dumb. Because someone asked me, what would I like to receive if someone made something for me. And I realise, that things like all these normally only happen in movies or tv shows, which I find that it's kind of sad. Life is short to get what you hope to get. So people, treasure what you have now. Even if it's just a small thing, but it's a thoughtful and sweet thing of someone to do it or bless it to you.

"I think there's something more,
life's worth living for
Who knows what could happen.
Do what you do, just keep on laughing
One thing's true, there's always a brand new day
I'm gonna live today like it's my last day"

- Avril Lavinge, Who knows

A lil poem of the day

Having tears like rain
Carrying burdens like mountain
Sometimes I wonder whether is it all worth it
When I can join the fun instead

Thoughts that storm through my mind
Emotions that burst straight at my heart
Blood that sheds continuously in my soul
Like one depressed little girl
That can't find the right exit

Calling out to this voice
that she knows for sure
a reply will come
a miracle will occur
a love will fill the gap

Finally,
the thoughts of leaving
is gone
the thoughts of staying in the dark alone
is gone

God I need You
Jesus I love You
Holy Spirit guide me

All I ask...
Is to be loved.

Yours truly,
Swee min Raine

Memories & Realistic

In the toilet

Su ting & me

Do you spot a zebre hanging?

BOOO!

E362, you will always be in my heart. No matter how many different cgs I might be in next time. The times when we start off from nothing, so lack, no bondage, till the times we laugh together, cry together, had fellowship together. The memories I had will never fade off. I wont look back to those times. But I know it will still be there. It's where I start off from a baby to a big girl of God. Really want to thank every single cell group member that was there, especially su ting and cai jun. Both of you are really a great impact in my life. I will never forget. Always so 'garang' and such a great atmosphere builders. Cai jun, i will always remember the first time we met. Thanks for makiong me felt so welcome and home. Thank you su ting for always be there when I am down and somehow you will just realise it. All those discipleship and bible studies are all worth it. I really appreciate it alot. I will continue to grow stronger, and bless the rest. Even though this cg I'm in might be tough and weird. God will show me His way, and how to do things right. All the tears and fears did not go to waste. All those trials and temptations will come to an end. That's the best I can do for you guys and God right now. I know I might come to a point where I will stop and get tired and down. I will just pray that God you will be there and strengthen me again. For even when my soul and flesh fail, You will be my heart and portion forever.

My recent photos

My vain side


Girlfriends forver. SHOPPING!


Santy & me. Cheers! =D

Confusing moments

Was kind of confused and down today. Thinking about why do I want to transfer zone. I know it's definatly not cause of the discipleship, not cause of Bro. Edmund, not cause the zone is not good. It's cause I am really tired of this cg. I used to be quite strong in my previous cg. I know that every cg got their problems. But why is it so weird. As in really weird. I am not trying to be mean or something, but it's kind of true. And _ _ _ _ _, I don't like to talk to him/her anymore. Sometimes all I need is a pair of listening ears, after that then talk. But he/she doesn't wait. I just needs to tell someone, cry then get over it. And thank God for friends, they are my pillar of strength.

Lots of things happened this 2 weeks, it's more than words can explain. I thought of taking a break, but I know it doesn't help. I am not afriad of myself falling back, cause I know I wont backslide. I am more afraid of the process of feeling down and tired. Feel like I am one little fepressed girl. I am just avoiding the problem. I got to face it, and solve it. Or else I will just be staying in my comfort zone. God I need you through this process. You said you will be my light in the darkest valley.

Feels like I had always long You
All those endless nights I was alone
It's like I've spent forever searching
Now I know that it was worth it
And it feels like I'm finally home

Falling head over heels
Thought I knew how it feels
But with You its like the first day of my life

With You it's never the same
The stars are always by my side
The wind blows away all my worries
Life was a total transform

My soul is shining through
Can't help but surrender
My everything to you

Swee min Raine
The sacrifice.