YEAHHHOOOOOOO!!!!! I GOT MY ADVANCEMENT! Praise the Lord! Although Crossly was super annoying, but who cares. As long as I get my advancement, I don't really bother at all. haha. PTL once again.

Girls are cute? Sweet? Lovely? Beautiful Objects? Or totally the other way round, they can be scary? Fierce? Complaint queen? Or like a dumb blonde? Brainless? Dependent? Like a baby? It's all up to you to decide. But for a girl like me? Haha. It's not up to you, but up to me to decide who I want to be for the day. I can be soft and sweet, or louder than the radio. I can be nice to you at this moment, but the next, I can be screaming the hell at you. I can be smart at times or dumber than ever. I can be sophisticated or totally go out of control. I can be glamourous. I can be cool as ice or as wild and open as I can be. I can so friendly or just totally turn-off to you. I can loveeee you to the core, or hate you till I die. I can say I don't like him anymore, but the next minute I tell you he's still somewhere in my heart. I can choose the guy I want to be with. Every girl has a choice. She doesn't have to be a bitch to have the ability to choose. For a girl to be able to choose her own life, she got to be like me. I have the freedom and ability to choose because I know exactly who I am, I know where I stand, every part of me, everything I see, I know what I need, most of all, I've got nerve to go and get what I deserved. Be a girl and do the right thing. Make your own stand. What a girl wants, what a girl needs, it's up to how much one dare to fight for oneself. There's no limitations to my imaginations. I say, I can have it all.

WHAT'S WITH THIS SICKENING WEATHER?! IT SUCKS. I CAN'T GO SKATING AT ALL. AHHHHH.... I REALLY REALLY WANT TO SKATE BADLY. CAN IT JUST STOP RAINING FOR LIKE 3HRS? GOODNESS.

I have no idea but I'm kind of HIGH. Always look at the bright side of life. I know it's always tough to have great faith, great believe, but easy to have a great problem. Always telling myself, I have a GREATER God. But does that solve all the problems? Oh, don't be naive. You got to do your best then... God will do the rest. Solutions does't drop from heaven. It got to comes through prayer, fast, mind-working, and maybe some I don't know, miracle? That is God. When you wake up, you won't find that all your papers turning to an 'A'. But... remember there is such thing as the favor? God give you favour through teachers? classmates? everything you can think of, it's there. SO... BELIEVING FOR THE MIRACLE TO HAPPEN. GREAT FAITH. GREAT BELIEVE. It's not that difficult afterall.

Here's a song, for some reasons, it just somewhat reflects my life.

You get the limo out front
Hottest styles, every shoe, every color
And when you're famous it can be kinda fun
It's really you but no one ever discovers

In some ways you're just like all your friends
But on stage you're a star

You get the best of both worlds
Chill it out, take it slow
Then you rock out the show
You get the best of both worlds
Mix it all together
And you know that it's the best of both worlds

You go to movie premieres
Hear your songs on the radio
Living two lifes is a little weird
But school's cool nobody knows

You get to be a small town girl
But big time when you play your guitar

Pictures and autographs
You get your face in all the magazines
The best part is that
You get to be Whoever you wanna be

Who would have thought that a girl like me
Would double as a superstar

You get the best of both worlds
Without the shades and the hair
You can go everywhere
You get the best of both girls
Mix it all together
It's all much better
Cos you know you got the best of both worlds

Singing off,
donatella 'faith hope love' Raine

"You got to tell her sooner or later.
I pick later."

"I say this because I care about you: get some help!"

"Oh believe me, she's screaming in the inside."

"Yes, and maybe just maybe that's insane!"

"But the mall has cute clothes!
But the beach has cute boys.
To the beach!"

"They love me, but I disgust them."

"Look at you all upside-right"

"Why? Does it bother you? It really turns off some people."

"You're not? Cause it's okay if you are."

"Good to know."

"Don't make me laugh, it comes out of my nose. You wanna see?"

"Too late. It's about to blow."

"Am I grossing you out?"

"How do you like me now?!"

"What does it take with you? What more do I have to do? You and I are never gonna get together!"

"Okay that went well."

"You did what???"

"Boy you bounce back fast!"

"Nothing anybody says or does, leave this room."

"Eww... He's such a jerk.
A very cute jerk."

"I don't know. But we're gonna find out."

"I knew it. But what does that mean? In english?"

"Should we hug? Let's hug."

"We're gonna lose. No. We're gonna lose bad."

All my favourite quotes. Cheers...

"We haven't met, and that's ok
Cause you will be asking for me one day

Don't wanna wait, in line
The moment is mine believe me

Don't close your eyes
Cause it's a chance worth takin

And I think that I can shake it

I know where I stand
I know who I am
I would never run away
When life gets bad,
Everything I see
Every part of me
Don't I get what I deserve
I got nerve"

"I'm more than just your average girl
I'd like to turn me up
And show the world

Cuz some can talk to the talk
But this girl just wants to rock
I'm individual
I'm not like anyone

I can be glam-or-ous
Just like you see in all the magazines
I can be cool as ice
Or anything I wanna be

Who said, who said
I can't be Superman
I say, I say
That I know I can

Who said, who said
I won't be President
I say, I say
You ain't seen nothin' yet

Go on and make some noise
Every girl has her choice
To lead their own parade
I do it my way

I can be soft and sweet
Or louder than the radio
I can be sophis-ti-cated
Or totally go outta control

Who said, who said
I'm not electrifying
I say, I say

There's no holding back
Hangin' right on track
Cuz you control the game
So let them know your name
No limitations on imagination

Who said, who said
I can't be worldwide
I say, I say
Time is on my side

Who said, who said
I can't be 10 feet tall
I say, I say
That I can have it all"

"I'm just like anybody else
Can't you tell
I hold the key
To both realities

The girl that I want you to know
If only I could show
I want you to see
The other side of me "

"Take the world shake'n stir'n,
That's what I got going on,
I throw my cares up in the air,
And I don't think there coming down,
I love how it feels right now.

Takin in a whole new scene
and i'm swimmin with a new crowd
Breakin down the old four walls
And im buildin them up from the ground
I love how it feels right now

I'm gonna follow my own lead,
kick back and feel the breeze
Nothing but the blue skies as far as i can see
This is the life.

This is the life,
Hold On Tight,
This is a dream,
It's all I need,
You never know where you'll find it,
And i'm gonna take my time,
And i'm still getting it right.
This is the life."

"Welcome to a new day
Don't know what's on the way
But whatever it is
I am ready

On your mark
Get set go
Here's the show
and the road
But with you it's a load I can carry

And each breath I can take it
and each moment gonna make it

It's so wonderful crazy,
it's so beautiful out of control,
Kinda scary amazing
But I don't mind it at all."

"Every single day
I wanna tell you how I feel

Are you really into me
Cause I know I'm into you
But I don't want to take another step
Until you say you feel it too"

A STAR??? Maybe yes maybe no. IT'S SO WONDERFUL CRAZY, IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL OUTTA CONTROL!

Yes, I trust in You.

Lord You are always here with me
There is no changing God in thee
You are the same yesterday
and today and forevermore
Here on your promises I stand
You hold my future in Your Hand
My solid rock
Almighty God
I worship You

When troubles come I trust in You
For I know You will lead me through
And I know You are faithful
Till the end
And when the storms are drawing near
When I'm with you I don't have to fear
You're my shepherd on Whom
I can depend

Throguh the day
Through the night
I know You're always by my side.

God, guard my thoughts. Don't let the devil take control of my mind and body. I am thinking of killing myself, I know that's the devil. I can feel the protection layer surrounding me. I don't want to die, although that's what I feel right now. Satan, GET BEHIND ME!

The cruise thing was fun with all my dearest friends. The sea breeze was great, I am just so in need of it. The food was okayy, there was hot guys. I am amazed. Apparently, that's about all. I am not in the mood to go into details.

I am afriad, I am soooooo scared. I cannot cannot cannot retain. God, please don't do this to me. Please. My mummy will be super disppointed. I don't want her to be disppointed. She will be damn sad. I won't know what to tell Bro. Edmund. Plus I will see him tomorrow, I don't feel like talking to him. I don't want and I cannot cannot stay back. I will waste one year. I know I can do well if I work hard when I can go to Sec 4. I don't want to be looked down. I cannot take it. I am so broken down. Yet people just keep on pressuring me. Making a shit out of it. WHAT THE FISH! Can't you just stop it. CAN YOU THIS BUNCH OF PEOPLE STOP ASKING THE SAME QUESTION LIKE A THOUSAND AND ONE TIME IN ONE DAY. CAN'T YOU ALL BE MORE ORGANISE?! UNITED??? WHAT SHIT! I need a break. I had enough. I just need to cry it all out. If I really retain, I am so going to cry for 2 weeks. I will be super quiet the whole time. I need to rank at someone. Cry with someone. Not to hear a lecture from someone. Not at this point of time. Helppp.... I need a miracle.

I suddenly felt his comfort, his assurance. Tears being to flow down. He said, "Have faith". But sometimes is not that I don't want to have faith, but I am just very very afriad. I seems to lose it all. Then He said again, "Have Faith." God, assure me please. I seriously don't want to retain. I cannot retain. God say, HAVE FAITH!

I couldn't tell you
why she felt that way
She felt it everyday
And I couldn't help her
I just watched her make
the same mistakes again

What's wrong, what's wrong now
Too many, too many problems
Dont know where she belongs
where she belongs.

She wants to go home
but nobody's home
Thats where she lies
broken inside
With no place to go
no place to go
to dry her eyes
Broken inside

Open your eyes
and look outside
Find the reason why
You've been rejected
and now you can't find
what you left behind

Be strong, be strong now
Too many, too many problems
Dont know where she belongs
where she belongs.

Her feelings she hides
Her dreams she can't find
She's losing her mind
She's falling behind
She can't find her place
She's losing her faith
She's falling from grace
She's all over the place yeah

She's lost inside lost inside
She's lost inside lost inside

I am missing something

in life, For sure

The long lovely passionate kiss

That warmth when I'm in your arms

The sweetness of the flowers

Everything, I lost it

I remember those times when I fall sick

You cook porridge for me

Holding my hand

Falling asleep by the side of my bed

But I just can't be sure

Whether you like me or not

Am I falling for you?

Sometimes you are so cute,

so caring, so sweet

But sometimes you just don't seem to bother

So am I suppose to guess?

Times when I am upset

You hum songs that make me laugh

Being a famous celebrity

You are willing to humble yourself

to go to places that I like

Am I sinking deeper?

I think I love you

I'm falling for you

Cause now I miss you

But I know I can't

Time is running out

We know we got to go our different ways.

I just can't admit that I love you

Hiding all the feelings inside

Jealousy comes when I see you with another girl

I shouldn't be feeling this way

I'm not suppose to like you.

Your Life Path Number is 22

Your purpose in life is to use your power for good Of all the life paths, yours has the most innate power. Your power lies in your vision, and you must recruit others to help you in this vision. You are able to be a great idealist, but you still have the practicality to get things done. In love, you tend to be a big romantic - but you also tend to keep your distance. You have a lot of potential, and it's sometimes hard to live up to. Sometimes you just feel like slipping into obscurity and doing nothing. You tend to be prone to dramatic emotions, until you step back and look at things honestly.

What Is Your Life Path Number?

Went to hospital today for my stomach problem. In the end just got some medicine and went home. The consultation fees was $90 and the medicine only cost $17. Sooo..... much difference. See how expensive it is for someone to just say 'hello' to a doctor. By the way, 2 weeks later still got to go back and say 'hi' to the doctor and pay another $60. If the problem still continues, they got to put a camera into my stomach to check whether is it a serious case or not. So the charges will come up to a thousand? Therefore I will get to stay in the hospital for insurances purposes. Isn't it so cool? Haha.

After that, I went tampines to meet Larry at around 3.30pm. He was tutoring, but by the time I arrived, only Vincent is left. Stayed there for like 30mins? Then Kelly came. Finally, the main lead is here. Haha. Cause my purpose for being there is when larry is 'counselling' kelly, he can ensure that nothing will happen. Haha. You guys should get what I mean. But I am kind let Larry down, because I didn't really do my job, I sneak out with Eliz to shop. Bought myself a ring and one for my darling. Haha. No lah, bought one for Xiao Bai. Let me tell you people a joke, I actually bought a ring that Xiao Bai already had, please tell me how dumb I really can get. Haha. Obviously I am not dumb lah, just kind of sad for him. Haha. At least, he appreaciate it. Hehe. I feel much better.Kind of out of point right. Went to larry's place for movie after that, watched this show called 'firewall', it's about kidnapping and robbing a bank, the saddness of losing your love ones and seeing the cute dog getting hurt. Haha. Although it's not really interesting, in fact, it's actually quite nice, just that I am too tired. I think I am contradicting myself. Sorry guys, I am just tired. Before that, we were downstairs of his house, deciding for a very long time whether should we go 7-11 to get "AHEM". You know what I am talking about. Haha. Took a cabby home after that. Quite a quick ride home. So... apparently I had a very great day, love you peeps lots. =D

Ahhhhh.... I loveeee you guys. Such great joy to have you all to help me celebrate my birthday. Even though you guys don't even know me, you all make so much effort for the celebration. I love the fire crackers part, it's soooooo sweet. I never expect this to happen to me. The card is so very nice, with all the handmade hearts that can be counted up to 500? Thank you for all the effort, hard work, time and love. There are so many surprises that is so cool. I seriously love you guys and especially, LARRY. Ahhhhhh...... I love you!!! Haha. Maybe we really do look like a couple. Hahahahahahaha. You all can dream on. We are the best pals. Haha. Even as we spend the night through at the esplanade's outdoor threatre, it has been great fun and we shared lots of things, both emotionally and spiritually, which has been a great revelation to me. Spending time with you peeps is of great fun. Remember those times I give larry heart-attackS. Haha. I don't mean it you know, it's just me. Hahaha. By the way, Happy Birthday Xiao Bai/Liang Ping. Hope you enjoyed your birthday and presents too. Haha. When I really get to know you, you are a great company. All the best for the rest of your year. Cheers! Loving you people!

It's OCTOBER. Believing for a great month. With lots of spiritual renewal, breakthroughs, faith, sensitivity to God's voice, leading a life full of his will and agape love. Leading this month with a heart full of expectancy. For a great mighty move of God in ME! Going to make a decision to do more things, that includes the stepping out of my comfort zone. God, I AM READY AND ALL SET FOR THIS WONDERFUL CRAZY JOURNEY. WOOOHOOOO. OFF WE GO! October is the month, it's the time.

walking this unexpected journey with You.

I cried.

Wouldn't it be nice if you got someone that close? that nice? that sweet? Gosh... A bitch again. No. I am sure it's not the bitchiness this time. It's my heart. All the feelings so deep inside. Would you ever understand?

Gloria:
I LOVE YOU TO THE CORE!!!

Larry:
Rock on. Love you forever.

Eliz:
My dearest girlfrirnd. Muacks.

Han Xian:
Forever my elmo. You can't escape. =p

Xiao En:
Heart you. My lovely girl.

Stephanie:
Taiwan series!!! ahhhhh.... haha.

Jackson:
Owe me a present. Lamer. =D

Faith, Hope & Love.

Not just outward change, starting on inward change NOW.

God,
I love You not because I need You. I need You because I love You. Be it next week, next month, next year, 10 years, I just want to grow and love you more every day. Knowing You more and hearing from You every single moment is a goal. Getting to You is my destiny. Even though I know and I know that life is not easy, that I fall and fall again, sometimes I tend to give up or just to have that thought. You get me up to my feets once again. You always put this verse in my heart, " My flesh and my heart fails, But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Then, You said, "See, its always 'BUT GOD' ".

I remembered on the day of my salvation, I said "I want to know who You are, to put You first in my life", I admit there are times I didn't fulfil that. Times, faith just seems to run away, love just seems to escape, hope just seems to turn invisible. Darkness slowly creep in and I just seems to be walking in this never ending dark valley, wondering when can this end. You speak to me once again,

"He leads me beside the still waters.

He restores my soul;

He leads me in the paths of righteousness

For His name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of

shadow of death,

I will fear no evil;

For You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me."

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have. For You I will.

Those who sow in tears
Shall reap in joy.
He who continually goes forth weeping,
Bearing seed for sowing,
Shall doubtless come again with
rejoicing,
Bringing his sheaves with him.

It's rather dumb to seek for something that is impossible. why not aim a little lower. Not like I am aiming to fail, just a 'B', not an 'A'. Having a goal is good, but maybe we should try to face the reality sometimes.

Hold on to what you try to be your individuality,
When the world is on your shoulders,
Just smile and let it go,
If people try to put you down,
just walk on by don't turn around;
You only have to answer to yourself,
Don't you know its true what they say,
That life it ain' t easy,
But your time is coming around

Try not to worry about a thing,
Enjoy the good times life can bring,
Keep good all the solitude,
Got to let the feeling show,
Imagination is the key,
Because you are your own destiny,
Never should be lonely
when time is on your side.
Don't you know its true what they say,
Things are said to try you,
But your times is coming around,
(So don't stop trying)

Don't stop, never give up,
Hold your head high and reach the top,
Let the world see what you have got,
Bring it all back to you,
Dream of falling in Love,
Anything you've been thinking of,
When the world seems to get too tough,
Bring it all back to you.

Everybody wants to be loved,
Every once in a while.
We all need someone to hold on to,
Just like a helpess child.Yeh
Can you wisper in my ear,
Let me know its alright.

It's been a long time coming down this road,
and now I know.
What I'v been waiting for.
And like a lonely highway
I'm trying to get home, Oo.
Loves been a long time coming.

You can love for a lifetime,
You can love for a day.
You can think you've got everything,
But everything is nothing when you throw it away. Yeh.
Then you look in my eyes.
And I have it all once again.

It's been a long time coming down this road,
And now I know.
What I'v been waiting for
And like a lonely highway I'm trying to get home. Oh.
Loves been a long time coming,

Didn't know I was lost,
Till you found me. Uh.
Didn't know I was blind,
But now I see.

After so long, I relised what I told her was what I need to know. God You are so smart. You make me tell someone else what I am supposed to know all the long. To trust in You, have faith in You, believe in You, knowing that You are a good God, that You won't allow bad things to happen to me, being there everytime when I needed the most and not treating You like a when-i-got-problems-then-seek-for God. These are all the knowledge a baby christian should know. Sometimes I really wonder am I just too dumb or lazy. Or worst still, can't be bothered. But it seems to be the worst. God, was that part of the plan? Or is it just my own attitude that cause this downfall?

You're probably thinking that I want those things
Cash, cars,­ diamond rings
Thinkin' on my side the grass is green
But you don't know where I have been
I could be a wolf in disguise
I could be an angel in your eyes
Never judge a book by it's cover.

You're looking at your neighbour thinking what a guy,
Cause he's got a 9 to 5
But the part that you don't realise
He stalks you while you sleep at night,
But you're scared of the homeless guy
Think he's gonna wanna to start a fight,
Never judge a book by its cover.

I could be a crook or your lover
I could be the one or the other
If you'd look beneath you'd discover
You just don't know me!

Tell me what do you think you see,
You're standing in your corner looking up on me,
You think i'm so predictable.
Tell me what do you think i am
Looks can be deceiving,
Better guess again,
Tell me what you see
When you look at me.