"Should God place you on his anvil, be thankful. It means he thinks you’re still worth reshaping."

I cried so much in public today. Not wanting any attention, I always tried to cover it with a yawn or sneeze. This song perfectly explains my situation right now. Stained Glass Masquerade by Casting Crowns. I received Max Lucado's newsletter today. God has the perfect timing. I read the whole passage, and the last line, the line in red up there, hit me hard and right into my heart. I don't know how and what anymore. I feel like a robot sometimes.



Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the heart again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay
-"Stained Glass Masquerade - Casting Crowns"

EVERY line hits me hard. Real hard.