I am soooo into Harry Potter!
I am going to be a great fan now. Haha.


Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And I pray to God he hears you
And I pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life

I am speechless. After all my effort of trying to get over with all these "I-don't-know-what-you-call-it", you are telling me I should _________ for ___ ___ _ _______ ___, then what about the way YOU treated me. Firstly, you were the one who lost my trust and respect; that took a long way to build up, and you say I am not respecting you. Is that my fault when you use those vocabs, no one forced you to use those words. I gave you a last chance, yet it turned out worse. What more can I say. Okay then nevermind. But secondly, you demanded for an _______ ______, I wanted to explain myself and make my stand in there, but I think okay nevermind, I don't want to make things worse, so I just push everything to myself, regardless whether I am really wrong or right. Even when others kept on telling me to snap you awake and explain myself, I didn't. But now, you are demanding for another _______ ______, for the way _ _______ ___. How ridiculous can this get?! Forget it, I tell myself, FORGET IT. Just ____ another one, since you think I should _________ for it, then I would. For the sake to make you happy, if you think I am not teachable and I still think I am right about all these, then let me tell you, it's not that I am not teachable, it's that I AM right about all these. I am not the only one who thinks so, so do you still think I am the only one who is wrong.

I am perfectly fine you know. Cause I am not upset about this, just DISGUSTED. (Take your word back) I am just going to ____ another _______ ______ happily. I don't see a need to go into a depression for all these that I don't deserve. I don't hate you, I'm just disappointed. Very disappointed.

It's okay. I had already lost you 3 months ago. I should have known. I should. Just that I was blinded. Now I am sure, I lost this friend. You are no longer a friend of mine.

Where did I go wrong and lost a friend?

I sort of come to my senses. since he wants to hate me so much. go ahead. If he think he is right to get angry with me, thats his own problem, I am not going to allow him to destroy my life. He wants to treat me invisible, that's his problem, be my guest. I will just have one less person to bother me in my life. If he says he really care, he should have listen. but he is not, so why should I waste my tears and saliva on him, and my brain cells to be troubled about all these issues. I seriously dont know what causes me to come to my senses. I was seriously at my lowest point just now. This is when God shows himself I guess. I know this does not solve the problem between us. But what can I do? I am the only one making the effort to stich back this relationship when I am not the one who cut it apart, yet you are not making any effort. I think I don't deserve all these. But now letting go is alot better than me being so miserable and everyday wondering whether I should clearify with him, I know this does not solve the problem. But... it brings my life and smile back. That's all I need, for now.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. This 6 days, had been the most insanse and crazy and depressing days of my life. But you guys, make things so much better and less depressing, always being there for me, even if you're just listening, you guys make a great listener (just too bad someone else is not). It had really been a tough time, without you guys, it would have been alot worse.

Nikki, Cicil, thanks for all the craziness you've brought during these period of time, going for retail therpy, eating tons of sweet stuff, your presence is more than enough. I'm really glad to be close to you guys, not just being cgm, but we are friends. LOVE YOU! (to: whom it may concern. haha)
Gloria, for always being the first one I would talk to, complain to, bitch with. You will always make the best listener, cause you never make any noise. hahaha. I know a way to get songs from you in future already, just be really depressed. haha. LOVES!
Xiao en, for knowing what it truly feels like to be me. For being so understanding, for knowing how it feels like to go through all these, for listening and complaining about all the things we went through in this cg. Things do work better with you. Thanks for always giving me advices and stuff. And for knowing what I am going to say the next moment. haha. You're the best! Not that I don't love you, but keep on saying the same thing, like not sincere. Haha.
Eliz, your hug is more than enough to cover all my misery. FOREVER MY DEAREST.
Adrian & Mark, for hearing me grumble and grumble and whine and whine. MARK! It's not being emo okay?! haha. THANK YOU LOADS!
The tings. The joy you all brought me today, the look on your face, just reminds me of all the joy we share last time. Really miss you guys, all the jokes and drama we did. Haha. Thanks for the love you all showed to me, and the friendship we share. Grow stronger in the Lord! Love you-s! :)

Although I seriously don't agree to the things you say, don't understand the fuss you are creating, don't like the words you use in your sentences, don't like the way you treat me, but, I will still change for the better. For God, for myself. Definatly not for you. If I would have a chance, I seriously would like to give you, ONE BIG PUNCH IN YOUR FACE. Sorry, but you didn't give me the right to be angry, but I can be violent. My friend? You care? KiSS MY ASS. BULLSHIT.

I'm over you asking me when you know I'm not okay. Wanting you to listen to me, no that ain't no way to be. How I feel, read my lips, because I'm so over it. Moving on, it's my time. You never were a friend of mine. Hurt at first, a little bit, but now I'm so over. Trying to drag me down and fill me with self-doubt, hatred, you never succeed. Don't call don't come by, ain't no use don't ask me why, you never change, leave me numb and crying in the rain. And I try and try to say what's on my mind, you should have known. Now I'm done believing in you, you don't know what I'm feeling, I'm more than what you made of me, I followed the voice you gave to me, But now I'm gonna find my own. I don't know where I belong, but I'll be moving on. And, I'm not asking you to listen anymore. If you want to, then I would gladly tell you how I feel. But it's not that way now, I suppose. Unless you can prove me wrong.

No more "Heavily Broken", "Breakaway" or "Listen", cause you aren't worth it.
"How To Save A Life", is for YOU.

I am sick sick sick. And when I am not sick, I am tired. I am sick and tired.
What more must I do? What more do you want from me?
I did all I can, and now all I'm left with, is the pieces of me.
And you're still not happy, you want to burn me into ash.
I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't smile. There's nothing more you can take.


I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the one who gave it all
So I'll stand
My soul Lord to You surrender
All I am is Yours

So what could I say
What could I do
To offer this heart oh God
and give it to You





Show me how to live
I forgot how to breathe
Teach me the ways of expression
Cause I forgot how to smile

I lost myself
All I'm left with
Is the pieces of me
But yet, you're not satisfied

Take it
Take all you want of me
I want to stop you
But I have no right to anyway
- swee "the story of her"

if only my heart could take over my lips...
then you would understand what it feels,
to be ME.

I'm heavily broken.
From this moment, I am died.
I am going to fulfil your happy ending.
That's all I have to say.
Afterall, do I have any right to say anything.

I just enjoy being in the dark right now.
I hate the light, it makes me see who I am.
I can't even face the mirror now.
It makes me hate myself more.
For being so not perfect.
For not being good enough for anyone.

I can't smile like before anymore.
Who will ever know my erised.

It's the fourth day
I had been numbing myself with movie after movie
But the moment some words in the movie strike me
I would be reminded of the events again
It's tomorrow
How
I feel like just dying
GOD! Anoint me.

It's the third day now
and it isn't any better
Matter fact, I feel even more miserable
Tears are choking me




I tried to sleep, but I can't. I turned, I flipped, till 3am. I ended going to sleep in tears.

I know I shouldn't be avoiding you, avoiding the problems in front of me. But I know I can't speak to you now, I am not calm enough, if I start, I can never stop, I will just start babbling. It's not that I am not teachable, but I seriously don't know where I did wrong. If I'm at fault, I would change, I would repent, but I don't see any mistakes I made, why not you tell me. I'm sorry for not having the courage to face everything, everyone right now. I don't know how to do it right, why not you show me. If I am wrong, then is she right? She does what she has to do, just to get what she wants, even if its against her conscience, if that's what you called right, then I'm sorry, I rather be wrong. I am not so cunning, I can never carry that kind of guilt and act like nothing had happened, maybe that's why I am not in drama.

God, I've come to a point, where I DESPERATELY need you to show me the way.

I had been crying again
It's already the second day
Yet my heart is still bleeding
like as though it was only a second ago it cracked

All the words, all the actions
From you
Pierce right through my heart
And left it scarred

Can you see all those tears
They are just so uncontrollable
One by one streaming down my cheeks
But you still refuse to listen

You'd never know how disappointed I am
You lost my trust, my respect for you
Do you even care
It's so unfair

It feels so terrible to hate someone
But it's just so difficult to let go
You accussed me for things I never did
I told myself, that's it, I had enough, get out
-that hurt girl







Everyday I sit here waiting
Everyday just seems so long
And now I've had enough of all the hating
Do we even care, it's so unfair
Any day it'll all be over
Any day there's nothing new
And now I just try to find some hope
To try and hold onto
And it starts again
It'll never end

I'm heavily broken
And I don't know what to do
It just seems like I'm choking
And I can't even move
When there's nothing left to say
What can you do
I'm heavily broken

And there's nothing I can do
Almost giving up on trying
Almost heading for a fall
And now I'm screaming
I've gotta keep on fighting
But then again
It doesn't end

I'm heavily broken
And I don't know what to do
It just seems like I'm choking
And I can't even move
When there's nothing left to say
What can you do
I'm heavily broken
And there's nothing I can do
And there's nothing I can do

Feels like I'm drowning
I'm screaming for air (screaming for air)
Louder I'm crying
And you don't even care

I'm heavily broken
And I don't know what to do
Could you see that I'm choking
And I can't even move (What can I do)
When there's nothing left to say
What can you do
I'm heavily broken
- The Veronicas "Heavily Broken"

Every single word in the song, went right into my heart, making holes.
Who can come and mend it, no one.
I had never felt so miserable in my life ever,
maybe only that time when my parents divorced.
In fact, it doesn't even felt that bad.



watch me bleed, would you listen please?

I think the pictures will do a better job than me.









The dark side that you always see, on me and not her.


Looking out at the dark side of people that had never been shown.



My joy that dropped.


You are cracking my mind.


Breakaway.




Between her toes.


Cries of the past.


Living in a world of lies and backstabbing.
Thanks alot.




The light that would never shine on me.



I try hard not to cry.


Always left undiscovered.
No one intends to look deep in there.




Uncontrollable tears. You've hurt me more than enough.

Will someone for once not mention her name?! The thought of her just makes me want to puke. She is so good in covering up every mistakes she made, pushing her guilt to be my mistake. How can she just gets away everything so easily, wait till you know what she had really done. But I bet you will never, you always see her good and my bad. I am starting to hate you so much. I am never as good as her, does that make you happy?

I can never be good enough for you. Since you want me to be that way, I grant you your wish. Even if I lose myself, I will do it to make everyone else happy. Does that satisfy you now?

I had NEVER in my entire life, be so pissed, disappointed at someone before, usually I will get over the issue after one night the most, but this time, no. I had been crying all the time I remembered what you said. Do you even care? It's so unfair. I admit I am at fault too, but does that give you the best reason to side her, and not to trust in ANYTHING I say. I HATE YOU.

I can never be compared to her. 'Cause I will never be as good to you. She is always the best in your eyes, and I am always the devil. Just cause of her one-sided story, you gave all. What about me? I am so tired. For you always making empty promises, saying to do things that you will never do, saying you care, but you never really did. I'm over you asking me when you know I'm not okay. And I'm falling, so now you know. Now I know, how important I am. I mean NOTHING, NOTHING to you.

OH! And maybe, I just really don't deserve the OM. You can come and just take it away, I am not worth it. After all the things you said I am, you are just cutting my life into pieces, so it doesn't really matter anymore whether you are taking it away or not. I am hurt, enough.

I am not surprised by what Satan is doing right now. I know I am not the only one going through this. During the benny hinn's last service, the demons in me were practically choking me, I just couldn't breathe, and they start putting thoughts in my mind, I was about to breakdown. After that, I start hearing tons of people telling me the things that happen to them, and immediately I knew, he just knows God is strong in us right now, God's anoiting is too powerful in us, that is why he is attacking everyone in everyway he can now. But let me tell you Satan, you are such an arsehole, such a sole loser, you will never win, I mean NEVER! We are standing strong, being there for each other, to pull one another up when they fall, NO WAY you are going to break this bond.
GET OVER IT! Cause I am moving on. You can never change that fact.

I got to complete NINE chinese compos by TOMORROW! Sigh... God I need help.
POS was okay.
I found out something today, I AM ALREADY AN OM!!! I AM SO SO SO HAPPY!



Shopping List (again! hehe.)
MAC Brown Eyeliner
MAC Lipglass
Sports Bra
BAG!
Tee Shirts
New Shoes
New Heels
Laptop BAG! (urgent)

NEW ACCESSORIES
Jacket
Black Skinny Jeans
Watch
New Wallet
New iPod Nano
NEW TOPS!


should I cut my fringe?
Got to do my compos till late. Bye.


Current mood : happy
Current song : The Veronicas - Heavily Broken
Current book : I NEED ONE!

Still wondering whether I should get my fringe. Mum had been pestering me to, but I am so freaking scared. the biggest operation I'd ever done in my life that I can remembered, was to change my hair parting. And now cutting my fringe?! God, let it be Your will and not mine be done. Haha. I am rubbishing.


Current mood : painful
Current music: Avril Lavigne - The Best Damn Thing
Current book: Rosie Rushton - The Dashwood SIsters' Secrets of Love

It just feel so great loving You every second. I had never regret holding on to what I believe and trust. No matter what disappointments came or are coming my way, I won't turn my back. Yes it does hurts, more than anything else, I didn't even cry that much when my parents divorced, when my grandfather died, I guess You are really that precious.
You brought me my life. I'm everything I am, beacuse You loved me.
I know if I can start doing, I can do it right.

I don't have to be special, to be pretty, to be the know-it-all, I just need, to have You with me.
I'm not going to bother what others might say. I'll just leave them the way they want to think, I did my best to bring them to God, they just prefer their own life, so I guess I got to move on.


Current mood : thankful
Current music : Rascal Flatts - What Hurts The Most
Current book: Jayne Buxton - Take Someone like Me

There are too many things I can't say here.
So just let the tears speak.


GOD! WHY?? WHY CHOOSE NOW FOR ALL THESE THINGS TO HAPPEN?!
Everything that can go wrong, WENT WRONG!
I HATE MY MUM! What's her freaking problem! I HATE EMPTY PROMISES. I HATE LIFE!
I know the devil is trying to get me, I hate that voice in me, but what can I do?
You are not getting it out of me, You said in Your Word that you won't put temptations in our life that we can't handle.
But I feel that I am about to break already, I am at my limits already, I can't take it anymore.
Why do You always disappoint me? Why God? Why? I am so tired of everything.
After saturday, I was charged up by the Holy Spirit and be refreshed again.
But, why right after I went home, the devil attack me so strongly, that when I cried out for help, you weren't there.
The spirits in me were going crazy in me during service just now, I tried my best to focus on You, I did. But the spirits are still in me, I was choking, I still am.
And even when I am facing all these, there's no one I can turn to. No one.
God I'm about to break.
You just left me in tears, that's all.

Will you show up? God please, I am broken.

Lately, nothing I do ever seems to please you
And maybe turning my back would be that much easier,
Cause hurtful words are all that we exchange
But I can't watch you walk away
Could I forget about the way it feels to touch you?
And all about the good times that we've been through?
Could I wake up without you everyday, would I let you walk away?

No I can't learn to live without
And I can't give up on us now.

Oh, I know I could say we're through
And tell myself I'm over you
But even if I made a vow
A promise not to miss you
Now and try to hide the truth inside
I fail cause I just can't live a lie

Could I forget the look that tells me that you want me?
And all the reasons that make loving you so easy,
The kiss that always makes it hard to breathe,
The way you know just what I mean,

No I can't learn to live without, oh,
So don't you give up on us now.

Oh, I know I could say we're through
And tell myself I'm over you
But even if I made a vow
A promise not to miss you
Now and try to hide the truth inside
I fail cause I just can't live a lie

And I don't wanna try
When I try to hide the truth inside
I fail cause I just can't live a lie
I can't live a lie
I can't live a lie
-Carrie Underwood "I Just Can't Live A Lie"


No matter how much I wish I can leave you, I won't.
Cause I know I can't learn to live without You.
So devil, will you please give up?
God will You please pick me up like how you always say you will?
God, I'm not giving up on us, so don't give up on me.
I'm crying out for more of you. MORE.
Come before I shatter.

"Eye has not seen, nor ear heard" - TOMORROW NIGHT!

I am indeed very bless today, but... very very burdened as well.
God I really need your help. Be my "voice".

I think there is something I need to clarify here.
You know when I write all those "passages", actually they don't show how I feel or going through.
Some people might misunderstand and thought that I am like heartbroken or whatever, but ya, I'm not.
So... when you or whoever else reads my blog, don't take it like so seriously.
But that doesn't mean that all those passages I wrote and about to write, none of them reveals my emotions, I admit some do, just that you will never know which ones.
I guess that's all I have to say.
Erm... Happy Belated Easter?
Haha.
You guys have a nice evening and enjoy the rain. :)

Everything they say about me, I'm not.
But there is no way I can prove it.
You always see me the way they do.
What else is left to say?

If only you could see the other side of me,
then you'll know,
I'm exactly the one you'd been searching for.
Will that day ever come?
-swee "undiscovered"




All this time,
I know it's impossible; for you and me,
but I'm such a "Silly Willy",
all I wish is to be there to watch you shine.

People call these "Silly Willies",
the dumb ones in love.
But I see it,
as what you called, true love.
-swee "define love"

watch me bleed, would you listen please.

HEY GUYS! I'VE CHANGED MY BLOG URL!

http://left-undiscovered.blogspot.com

relink me! do add me in your favourites! which i know you will. haha.
loves.

I know this url sounds kind of emo, but I promise you it's not. So... I am still not emo; yet.

I'm sorry for the previous post, was being emotional. But they are all facts that no one can deny.



No one could ever understand
what she is facing now
Even if some do
They won't bother to care

Some always say
"I really want to help you"
But there's a saying
action speaks louder than words

She found no one to trust
no one to share
no one to cry with
I guess that must really hurt

Everyone is moving on
so quick
She could never catch up
she's left alone



Moving on to the rest of your live, starts with goodbye. It's so difficult.





When I'm in the dark and all alone
Dreaming that you'll walk right through my door
It's then I know my heart is whole
There's a million reasons why I cry
Hold my covers tight and close my eyes
Cause I don't wanna be alone

Cause I can't fake and I can't hate
But it's my heart that's about to break
You're all I need, I'm on my knees
Watch me bleed, would you listen please
I give in, I breathe out
I want you, there's no doubt
I'm freak out, I'm left out
Without you, I'm without
I'm crossed out
I'm kicked out
I cry out
I reach out
Don't walk away



-I end up, being undiscovered.

I hate myself,
for making the wrong choices,
for not being so smart,
for not living to what you expect,
for trusting the wrong people,
for sharing my life with people easily,
for not being so spiritual,
for... not acting the way people expect me to be.

I SUCK! So, are you still going to love me?
I wonder.

I WAS happy and smiling, cause I am not in love with anyone anymore.
But due to some accidents that happened to my PAST, I can't.

And now, all of us will be playing the "guessing game".
How fun is that huh?!
I can't help but to bloody worry!
It would be so awkward.
sigh.

It's the PAST! Would you all just simply let go of it?




-LOVE IMAGINATION GAMES
HATE GUESSING GAMES!

OH NO! I am not "Over It" anymore, I'm "Come Down To Me"!
URGH!
What happened to my tenacious heart?!
This is getting bad bad bad.



Why must love always be full of lies?
People get together because of lies that were told,
seperated because of understanding.

What if one day you found out your boyfriend was never divorced,
and he told you only like after 1year,
what would you do?

You would be surprised to see those girls that you wouldn't expect them to tolerate,
they would.
Why can't a relationship go on without lies?
WIll someone give me an answer?

Words fall out of my mouth
And I can't seem to trace what I'm saying
Everybody wants your time
I'm just dreaming out loud,
I can't have you for mine and I know it
I just wanna watch you shine.

Tripping up on my tongue,
It's all over my face and I'm racing
Gotta get away from you
Burning all the way home,
Try to put it to bed but it chases
Every little thing I do

When the light falls on your face,
Don't let it change you
When the stars get in your eyes,
Don't let them blind you.

[CHORUS]
You're beautiful
Just the way you are
And I love it all
Every line, and every scar
And I wish that I could make you see
This is where you ought to be,
Come down to me.

Spell it out in a song,
Bet you never catch on to my weakness
I'm singing every word for you.
Here I'm thinking I'm sly
Then you're catching my eye, and just maybe
You're thinking what I'm thinking too

When you see it on my face,
Don't let it shake you
I know better than to try and
Take you with me.

[CHORUS] x1
- Saving Jane "Come Down To Me"

my mood. happy?
LOL.

I can't wait for may to come! MY ED HARDY! I'M COMING SOON!

Plus, I am dying for a sports bra. A really nice one.
You know what?! Since I am like so doing this now, why not I just do it.
Yeah? Good idea huh? Set.
Hit it!

1) Sports Bra
2) FBT Shorts
3) Cool T-shirts
4) Punk Belt
5) Watch
6) Black Bra
7) Hood Jacket
8) Shoes
9) Ed Hardy
10) Cargo Shorts
11) Black jeans
12) Wallet
13) ... to be continued

I am despo just to STEP into ZARA, Topshop, Mango, or just simply ORCHARD!
I just need to sit in the cinema's seat. Haha.
That sounds ridiculous, but I just got have to go there to watch a movie I love and go... Aww so sweet!
HAHAHA.
And and and... I need good food.
I know I sound spoilt, but I'm not.
I just have alot of needs. Haha. Name me a girl who don't.
I miss those times!

GLORIA CHEW! YOU LIAR! I WANT MY BROWNIES NOW!

White hair go away in JESUS'S NAME!
It's not my fault that I don't sleep early enough for white hair not to come out, but I'm just so awake all the time when I try to sleep early.
Can someone say sick. tsk.




I've no idea what to say. But I know, I can't afford to leave you now. I would hurt you more than myself. I really don't know what to do, I'm trying to do it right this time. But how? God... Grant me wisdom. Show me what to do. Please know that I can't be by your side anymore. You've got to stand up on your on from now on. Cause, I have to move on. I'm sorry.






Smiles. Is that all it's about?
What about tears?
Look back into my eyes,
what do you see?

It's not over.
Both of us know it very well,
this game will not end,
at least not anytime soon.

Why do you always look at my bad,
have you tried seeing what is good?
Have you seen the real me?
I doubt so.
'Cause you never intend to discover.

You made me slap myself to wake up,
I tried, so hard,
it never happened,
I'm still living in my dreams.
You meant everything to me,
what about now?

I wish I could walk around with my hands,
up in the air,
like I don't care.
Cause I'm alright, I'm fine,
Just freak out let it go.

You! It's always about you.
But now, it's my time.
I'm moving on.
I'm so over it.

Just let me live my life.
Without you.
-swee

I'VE GOT SEVEN MOSQUITO BITES ON MY FACE!
Stupid mosquito!
I look so ugly now. I don't even dare to step out of my house except for going to school. Crap.
Screw that mosquito! Urgh!



I gave you everything but it wasn't enough.
And now you wanna communicate.
Go find someone else,
and then you go,
I'm loving myself.
It's just too little too late.