I don't want to lose You. But I think I have already did. I was on the verge on giving this up, cause it was just too much to take. Too much failures, too much disappointments I've made, too much promises I've broken, way too much time wasted.

What have I become? That I can't even regconised the girl right in front of her reflection. I am lost, far away, gone. When you asked whether do I still miss you, I know I do, but I can't put myself to say that I do.

I am completely broken. I can't see the future, the continual of this road. But God, His timing has never failed. He reminded me of the parable of the prodigal son once again.

"Jesus told about a teenager who decided that life at the farm was too slow for his tastes. So with pockets full of inheritance money, he set out to find the big time. What he found instead were hangovers, fair-weather friends, and long unemployment lines. When he had had just about as much of the pig’s life as he could take, he swallowed his pride, dug his hands deep into his empty pockets, and began the long walk home; all the while rehearsing a speech that he planned to give to his father.

He never used it. Just when he got to the top of the hill, his father, who’d been waiting at the gate, saw him. The boy’s words of apology were quickly muffled by the father’s words of forgiveness. And the boy’s weary body fell into his father’s opened arms."


Maybe, this is how it is. I burn out, I am drained, and this is when I know, I am broken, and I have to come back to this point, to completely lean upon Him.

And what they may lack in perfection, God makes up for in love.