Okay. I admit. I am desperate. Freaking desperate. When I see others, I will think to myself, why can't I have that kind of privilage too. I feel that I am such a bitch. I don't want to feel that way, cause it's terrible. It hurts. To see that hole. It's not the emptiness, not the lack of love, just the lack of... not being able to enjoy that kind of prvilage. Not that I am not being able to feel love, but just a different kind of love. I know it's not that important to get that kind of love. But I just want to experiance it in my secondary school years. I know I sound stupid, but that's just me. Everything's effed up straight from the heart. I really feel like a bitch! God.... I don't want to feel that way. Help.