The cruise thing was fun with all my dearest friends. The sea breeze was great, I am just so in need of it. The food was okayy, there was hot guys. I am amazed. Apparently, that's about all. I am not in the mood to go into details.

I am afriad, I am soooooo scared. I cannot cannot cannot retain. God, please don't do this to me. Please. My mummy will be super disppointed. I don't want her to be disppointed. She will be damn sad. I won't know what to tell Bro. Edmund. Plus I will see him tomorrow, I don't feel like talking to him. I don't want and I cannot cannot stay back. I will waste one year. I know I can do well if I work hard when I can go to Sec 4. I don't want to be looked down. I cannot take it. I am so broken down. Yet people just keep on pressuring me. Making a shit out of it. WHAT THE FISH! Can't you just stop it. CAN YOU THIS BUNCH OF PEOPLE STOP ASKING THE SAME QUESTION LIKE A THOUSAND AND ONE TIME IN ONE DAY. CAN'T YOU ALL BE MORE ORGANISE?! UNITED??? WHAT SHIT! I need a break. I had enough. I just need to cry it all out. If I really retain, I am so going to cry for 2 weeks. I will be super quiet the whole time. I need to rank at someone. Cry with someone. Not to hear a lecture from someone. Not at this point of time. Helppp.... I need a miracle.

I suddenly felt his comfort, his assurance. Tears being to flow down. He said, "Have faith". But sometimes is not that I don't want to have faith, but I am just very very afriad. I seems to lose it all. Then He said again, "Have Faith." God, assure me please. I seriously don't want to retain. I cannot retain. God say, HAVE FAITH!