Sometimes, or rather recently, I had been thinking about this very often. I had been asking, "God, why is it that I had been giving so much to You, and yet, my blessings are always not coming. Why must I get all the scoldings from my mum, why must I bear all these? I know it's simple, I want to see Your kingdom come, but, what happened to the promise you gave when I pledge$____? Whatever I am doing now, is it all worth it?" I started to doubt, alot. What happened to my faith? I don't want to give up right now. Not now. I just left a few more steps to go, but it's just so tough, and You're not helping. I start to dread all these. Is it just becoming a habit of putting a $50 note into the envelop every week, sometimes I just have the feeling that I am just putting in for the sake of fulfiling; which I should not have.

God, I need that faith, that assurance You used to give. Help me with to finish walking to road.