30 November 2006 / Thursday
Second day of ET Zone camp. I came with a heart of expectancy. Sis Jerblinn preached about relationship with God, and from the message today, I learnt something really great, that made me went WOAH. She said, what really draws us into His presence, it's when we come before Him truly broken, when we surrender what really means to us most. God, I say, from now I on, I will come before you, surrender all that I treasure, my desires, my dreams, my friends, my time and my love. I come to You, truly broken, making myself free at all times. Sacrificing my time with my friends, my shopping, my laziness, I will avail myself to all I can do for You. Make you a vessel of Your love. For I say, I am broken.

Dance was fun today. After today, I don't know when I will be able to dance again. Really miss those practice times, with those fun and joy. All the tough training is worth it for His glory. Make it groove~

2 December 2006 / Saturday
Went for make-up cell in the early morning. I was so tired due to the late and tired nights I had. As usual I woke up late and rush down in a cab. Reached at around 11.30am when it starts at 11am. But thank God when I reached they were just sharing testimony. It's really good to worship God in the morning to be in His presence. Now I know how to step into the realm of His spirit, it's easier for me now to pull down the presence if God. Make-up cell was great, His presence was so tangible.
Rushed down to meet Gloria. Christmas Kettling was fun. The sun was freaking hot. Gloria was wondering what happen to our winter. Haha. We were asking each other questions, hopping that time will pass faster.

4-6 December / Monday-Wednesday
Did christmas kettling for all three days in a row. It was kind of tiring, yet fun as we get to talk all the time and not through the phone. I really feel like swimming badly!
Clarence's school concert on tuesday was boring. Looks like their only highlight was the band. The band is pretty good. Their dance was like... urgh. For chinese orchestra, even if it's my own school's, I still hate it. Their school choir is small but strong and good, except for this werid girl that kept on looking around and moving her head looking like a complete weirdo. Yes, Gloria you are right. Most of them there are "ah-bengs and ah-lians", maybe like 9/10 of the school. I guess most of the students did not turn up for the concert as the attendance looks really l-o-w.

As I was walking home at night, I saw this old couple, walking home, hand in hand. It's so sweet, even though they are old doesn't they have no right to be romantic, no right to love. They weren't afraid of people mocking at them saying that they are so old already yet still so mushy. As I continue to walk on, I see this young couple, just sitting there, keeping quiet, not even looking into each other's eyes. It seems that love has faded long before they knew. They have the energy, the strength, the courage, the effort to love each other more, to make the move. But they don't have the heart and mind to. After seeing these two couples, I was reminded of God. I remembered those times Pastor always tell us that it's not the age that matters, you might be old, but young in heart, and those that are young might not be that on fire for God as the older ones. Most of the times, I don't take it to heart, I used to think that I will not happen to me. Things changed, after tonight, I relised, though I am young, I got the energy and flexibility, but yet I am not using them to the fullest, I don't have the heart and passion for it. Due to that, my talents and gifts are not fruitful anymore. God, I pray and I pray, don't let that ever happen to me. Use my youth to the fullest. Let me take every single opportunities I can to serve You, to love You more. I want to be the vessel that You will use. I want to make my life to the fullest for Your glory, Your will. Let me be the one; that when You are looking through the room; looking for the one that heart is after You; to follow You wholeheartedly, You will choose me.

Dwelling in : Summer in the City

7 December / Thursday
Went for work at my cousin's shop today. 10am till 4pm. $10 per day. It's quite a slack job though, plus it's in air-condition. My uncle just wants to give me money in a more practical way. It's kind of giving his money away. Really praise the Lord, as I really needed money to fulfil my building fund and for my needs (maybe desires too :p).
I took a bus 16 down to Tiong Bahru to meet the girls and guys for basketball. It was a fun time, get to reach out to Joey (Qing's friend) too. *sigh* Children nowadays are so active, I just felt like melting under the sun, althought there isn't sun that evening, PTL! Haha. Not that I hate sports, but too much of it make me so sick and tired. Frankly, I do love sun, but not the bright bright side of it, that involves my sweat. (In the dictionary, it didin't mention that sweat are only for animals.) But I guess all of us had a fun time. I broke my NAIL!!! I was acting like a typical young girl, whining while Lucas tried to pour water on my finger as I was too afriad to do it myself, I was screaming way before the water touch my skin. At the end of it, I found out that it wasn't painful at all. Haha. I felt dumb acting like a complete girly girl (I don't mean bimbo). Had difficulties putting on the plaster too. Lucas came to help again, as xiao en's hand was too dirty(that's what she said). Thanks man. By the way, the pig IS cute.

Dwelling in : Summer in the City

8 December / Friday
Traffic jams get on my nerves. Don't want to talk about the 'job', it was stupid. Let's talk about me shopping for present in this christian book store. I saw this book that I really like, title is "How to hear God's voice in a noisy world". Although I didn't read the contents, but the title captivated me. People out there... Yes I am calling for YOU! that's you. I won't mind having vouchers as christmas gifts, especially ZARA's, MANGO's, TOPSHOP's, I would love BORDERS's card! I seriously won't reject Armani Exchange vouchers too. Although I won't really accept expensive gifts, but since you are so sincere, I will just accept it. Haha. I am so in the christmas mood! I loveee the song "silent night", for some reasons that I don't even know, I am so into it. Haha. *breathed out heavily*
For the past two days, I was dwelling in the book "Summer in the City - Elizabeth Chandler". Something came to my mind. Do you believe in love at first sight? I used to, but now I believe lust at first sight. I am a girl that live in my fantasy world A-LOT, so much that you don't even realise. I dream A-LOT. Maybe I watched and read too many romance shows and books, I told myself, I should start to read or watch less of them. When I am at home, I will bury myself in novels, it's just so exciting reading them. But I know, all those kind of sweet things that happen in the books or shows; that make me go "AHHHHHHH SOOOO SWEET!!!!", it will never come true for me. (Since I am on this topic, let me make something clear, alot of people might think that I want a relationship, you know who I am talking about and yes it's YOU! I just want to make myself clear, once and for all, I am NOT craving for a boyfriend, I am NOT desperate, I WON'T go all out for a cute guy. I WON'T and I am NOT, okay? Am I clear enough? I am sorry if I give you that idea all the long. If you are Gloria or Eliz I won't mind, cause I share things that only you know, and I hope you keep it that way. Haha.) It's just all in my dreams, somewhere in a deep deep place in my home-made lala land. Somewhere deep in my heart, I know I needed sweetness. Love at first sight? It's a jock to me.

Dwelling in : California Holiday - Kate Chan (novel)
AND
Imagine me without you - Jaci Velasquez
As long as stars shine down from heaven
And the rivers run into the sea
Till the end of time forever
You're the only love I'll need

In my life You're all that matters
In my eyes the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You're the one that's there for me

When I found You I was blessed
And I will never leave You, I need You

Chorus:
Imagine me without You
I'd be lost and so confused
I wouldn't last a day, I'd be afraid
Without You there to see me through

Imagine me without You
Lord, You know it's just impossible
Because of You, it's all brand new
My life is now worthwhile
I can't imagine me without You

When You caught me I was falling
You're love lifted me back on my feet
It was like You heard me calling
And You rush to set me free