The first day of Dr.A.R.Bernard's service.
He preached about "Value". Our value. I didn't exactly go with a heart of expectancy; I wasn't prepared to receive anything THAT powerful. I just went, hoping for a breakthrough. I was so amazed by what God was changing in me, even as Dr.A.R.Bernard was preaching, I started weeping. He said, "If you do not know who you are, you will tend to imitate others." Which I find it so true. I always tried to be someone I'm not, cause to me, I am nothing valuable. I thought I didn't mean anything. Until he said, "God will NEVER value you the way people do, people value you by their emotions, by what you've done to them, but God does not value you by that." All these while, all I bothered was, what others say I am, which was what I thought I was. But now, I realized, I'm not what people say I am, at all. God knows who I truly am. My greatest value in life, is my value in God. Something that really impacted me was, "No matter how many mistakes I had, even if I had fallen short of His glory, my value in God DOESN'T CHANGE! I am still who I am in God, my value in Him was never shaken." I tell myself, I'm not worth God's love, I don't deserve it. I had done so many wrong things, had rejected, disappointed, turn my back towards Him, so, many, times. I didn't have the courage to go back to Him, I didn't know how to face God, I felt small. As Dr.A.R.Bernard said those words, I can't control myself, I broke down and cry. Suddenly, I sense the power of God working in me, the power of forgiveness and assurance. No matter how much I had disappointed him, my value in Him wasn't even shaken.


I am God's workmanship. My value to God was so great that He will not leave me in trouble, He will never forsake the works of His own hands. There and then, I know, even as I was in my deepest valley, He was there to make sure I can climb out of it, I am capable enough to get on my feet again. Cause He will never abandon the works of His own hands.


As I was walking down to the altar, God said to me, "You mean e-very-thing, EVERYTHING to Me." "Never allow anyone or anything to shake or decrease your value! Don't allow anyone that say you are incapable of doing anything, you can't do anything great, you don't have a future, to forget what you truly value to Me. You might not be good enough in their eyes, but you are good enough for Me, valuable in my eyes. I am here to give you your hope and future." "Swee, you are everything to me."


I stepped out of that shadow I used to live in.